I have been so blessed with a truly wonderful package of gifts. I can sing well, make balloon art, paint some cool stuff on faces and arms and legs, and entertain people while I teach Science. I really have been given so many gifts, I find it hard to use them effectively all the time. I want to use my gifts, but when I try to use them all at once, I find myself very fractured. I feel the pull from all different directions to use ALL my gifts at every opportunity. But that is impossible!
I have recently felt that pull even more because my husband has made it possible for a lifelong dream of mine to come to fruition. I am teaching classes in a classroom, in the attic of my home, in North Pole, AK. I have wanted this since I was a young child, teaching my dolls, in my Howard Johnson's colors playroom, in the basement of our home in Fall River, MA. That dream has traveled many miles, and has changed a bit over the years, but it was a seed planted by God even before I knew what homeschooling was! He has been guiding me even before I accepted Him! Wow!
Anyway, back to my feeling drawn and quartered...
I feel that my teaching these classes is part of the ministry I have been called to do. This, along with being a godly wife to my husband, and a godly example and mother to my daughter, is what I was designed to do by the Master Creator. When I realize how blessed I am, to be able to do these things, I just want to sing His praises at the top of my lungs!
And there lies the problem. I love to sing! I am at my happiest singing in my church choir, surrounded by all the music and voices that join with my voice to praise Him! Unfortunately, I have had some problems with my ear that have prevented me from being in choir for quite awhile. I am fine doing solos, but I don't enjoy those as much. I really have a hard time taking compliments after them. But in the choir, I can just experience the whole uplifting experience of praising Him, and not have anyone compliment me on what HE did. It may seem selfish, but I have just stopped singing in public because I don't want the attention in that way.
So back to the problem. I do feel the teaching is what I am being called to do, but what about not using my talents? I have prayed for some guidance, and felt led to blog about it.
Are you going through a similar struggle? How do you know that you are supposed to focus on one gift and not another? Will God take away some gifts if you do not use them?
Please, let me know what you think.